Vulnerability

Being an artist means revealing one's more vulnerable, deeply personal side. Part of it comes from the artist's need for self-expression. But this need is not completely selfish. Through the artist's experience and ability to translate emotions into their artistic medium, they are enabling their audience to process their own parallel or similar life experiences, relate to them and perhaps even work through emotions that are at times difficult to access, perhaps even acknowledge not to mention deal with.

An artist does that by highlighting their aesthetic aspects, no matter how painful they may be, and showing a larger perspective - such as the symbology of a tragic story. To actually live it or re-live it would be a nightmare. But to read it or watch it on the silver screen may allow us to safely laugh, cry, and re-emerge stronger and perhaps even more resilient.

Perfumery is an art form, although some may argue otherwise.  My own perfumes are a complete expression of an idea, memory or emotion. I pour my heart and soul into creating them, from concept to designing all aspects, including the imagery that may accompany it (such as the postcards I create especially for some of my perfumes), the story behind them or the "ad copy" if you will. And of course sourcing the materials carefully (sometimes growing, foraging and extracting them myself). So much of myself goes into every bottle - my energy and intention, as well as my own personal story. Because most of my perfumes are a chapter in my own life's story. As winding as it may be.

The last perfume I've launched was deeply personal, even more than the others. First of all, I made it for someone very close to me who have since disappeared. It was with a heavy heart that we had to part ways, and now he is lost to me. I was debating for the longest time if to launch this perfume or not. In hindsight, I feel this was a mistake. Because not only was it not well-received (which I can deal with,  but it was even ridiculed. Or at least the story that I shared about it on SmellyBlog was. I wasn't counting on this to be a blockbuster, but I did want to share my story and love the scent very much. And very few bothered to actually try it (because I guess my personal story, as interesting as it is to me, wasn't appealing to them).

For whatever that is worth, I wanted to share with you these feelings I have about launching new perfumes and pouring my heart here or encasing them in flacons for that matter. I feel that I grow more and more distant from the perfume as an "industry" and want to fully express my potential as a human, a scent-artist, and do it freely. It does require courage. But apparently right now I don't have that courage. I want to learn, create and share with those who appreciate it. I am no longer in that phase of life when I feel the urgency to prove myself or my talent; this desire has long been replaced by the need of authenticity in all that I do: research, teaching, incense and perfume making, as well as blogging.